So you can imagine the huge shock when we heard that they got back together. People are outraged and confused. However, Rihanna is no different than any abuse woman out there. Statistics show that an abuse spouse, girlfriend would leave and go back 8 times before she finally moves on for good. Shocking? Well keep reading.
Abuse is a very vicious cycle. I doubt that this was the first time that chris brown got physical with Rihanna. I think that there had been pushing, mabye a slap or two in the past but nothing this serious. It is very rare that someone would get this kind of a beat down on the first round. I am saying first round because it is my belief there are many more rounds to come. Please understand that i like Chris Brown. They are many reasons that could explain his behavior. It could be the fame, or maybe he has witnessed or being the victim of some abuse in the past. The department of justice family violence unit clarifies this. " A man may abuse a woman because he has learned this behaviour in his childhood; has not learned appropriate ways of dealing with anger; is influenced by the way women and men are shown in the media; wants to maintain a tough macho image; believes violence is a way to show male power; has low self-esteem and wants his partner to be dependent on him; is influenced by TV sports, etc; thinks that there are few, if any, consequences for his violent acts. " So there are many places where Chris Brown may have learned his abusive behavior. However, We should never confused understanding a behavior with condoning it. He and the rest of men that are abusive must take responsability for their actions.
So lets put blame where blame is due. Chris Brown should have never put his hands on Rihanna. Rihanna should not get back with Chris Brown but she has. Does that make what he did OK? I think many people are struggling with this. They are probably thinking that if she is back with him then she deserves what she got. Why should they get involved. Here is what we need to understand. A woman that is being abused is stripped of her confidence. By the time the first hit comes, there has been a lot of emotional abuse going on already. Like my mom says no one ever goes on a first date and gets slapped. NEVER. It is starts with words, name calling. The abuser makes you feel worthless and by the time he hits you, you believe that you are nothing without him. I know, i know but this is Chris brown and Rihanna. How can Rihanna have low self esteem? She is hot and liked all over the world. Why is she staying?
She is staying because she is like most women that are abuse. She hopes he would change. Chris Brown has probaby sworn that he would never do it again. He has told her that he loves her so much that it makes him crazy sometimes. She believes him and loves him and decided to stay. No one knows if he is going to hit her again , but statistics show that in most cases it happens again and it gets worst.
I want to make sure that we do not blame the victim in domestic violence. ( in this case Rihanna) If you have a friend in the situation all you can do is be patient. Know that she is more likely to go back with the abuser. She does not need you to be judgemental. She is alreally judging herself. Also, know that women are higher risks of deadly retaliations when they try to escape. So you should not tell her to just pick up and go. She needs a plan of actions. Domestic violence is a very serious issue and if nothing else Chris Brown and Rihanna have brought it back into focus.
For more info : http://www.safeplaceministries.com/pdf/Learning%20to%20Recognize%20Abuse.pdf
